my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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