i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
