wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
