kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
