It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
