just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
