i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize