So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
