I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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