found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I skipped work to stalk him.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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