he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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