I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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