my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
