I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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