Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
