i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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