We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
