u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
