All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
