Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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