I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
