i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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