can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
