i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
