so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize