Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
