How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
