The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
