Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
