your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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