Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
