if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
