no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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