So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
