He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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