C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
