hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
