Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
