I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
