Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
