How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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