Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
