I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
do nipples grow back?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
