I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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