I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
