just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
