It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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