R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
