I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize