Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
