My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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