this boner is exhausting
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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