So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
