Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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