Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
