Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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