those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
