it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Randomize
