I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Is it because I queefed?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
