I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
