How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
