you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
