he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize