on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
