Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
