I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize