he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
