Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
