My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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