here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
