No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize