I need help removing her.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize
