no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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