smell my finger.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
