You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
