Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
