Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
