People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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