fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Even my vagina gasped.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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