I think my vagina is haunted
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize