I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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