I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize