I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
